Playing with the big boys

I realise I usually write about the important stuff: television, movies and dieting, but sadly I find myself compelled to stoop to writing about politics. And this is because I have to admit to being a bit embarrassed. And though I am easily embarrassed, it is usually because of something I have said. Or done. Or worn.

This time it is not even really my fault. I am just tainted by association.

Having all-but-ignored news and current affairs for a few weeks (not sure why other than waning care factor) I have just had my parents visiting and so have been subjected to a barrage of television and radio news.

So this exposure, on top of my weekend newspaper ritual has highlighted a recent theme, which has resulted in my current state of embarrassment. I find myself wondering how on earth 'it' has come to this. And I ask, "When did we suddenly become so uncool?" And by 'we' I mean 'us'. Australia and Australians.

Okay, in all honesty we were probably never really considered (by anyone other than ourselves) to be that cool - having recently been led by Mr Magoo for what-seemed-like a millennium and by a few dodgy characters before that. But, at least we (in true Australian-style) showed a healthy disdain for what others thought of us. In that way we were too cool to be cool. Or something.

So, what has me currently shivering with distaste is how desperate we seem to have become. Like little puppies with tails wagging madly, waiting for someone to pat them; or like 50 year old women dressed like 20 year olds hanging out at a bar. We reek of desperation. To be liked. Or more specifically - we want to be liked by the right people. We wanna hang with the cool kids and play with the big boys. And by we, I mean our media and our politicians. I find myself shocked at how excited 'we' are to be seemingly moving from the kids table and invited to sit with the grown ups.

As I understand it, our Prime Minister (aka Kevvie), through his witty climate change and economic sustainability repartee has seemingly given us something to crow about on the world stage other than some acting A-listers, the occasional sporting hero and our pristine beaches. Well, so says our media. And, even the most avid of Kevvie-haters seem impressed at his recent performances which have catapulted us from southern-hemisphere-obscurity to centre stage.

But, when did we become such 'try-hards'? Such wannabes? As I pour through the weekend papers, I cannot tell if the media is truly excited that our first lady got to lunch with Michelle Obama or if the reports are indeed some tongue-in-cheek reference to our desperation to join the cool kids' table.

Sure I think Barack and Michelle Obama are pretty groovy and I suspect my mouth would drop to the floor at the sight of them, but surely other world leaders who are (on paper anyway) their equivalents should not be quite as awestruck by their presence. Shouldn't they be treating the US President as just another world leader rather than a superstar with whom they clamber to be photographed?

What does it say about us that - as a nation - we are thrilled at reports that Barack Obama seems to like our Kevvie? Assuming that we are now seen by those-that-matter as one of the big boys (when, in fact, we may fade into oblivion as the fickle international political agenda moves on). We are like a desperate singleton at home after a first date, planning the perfect wedding to the guy she has just met! I cringe when I think of how smug some of those gun-toting, homophobic, puritanical (sorry I am generalising) Americans can be, when leaders such as ours, salivate just to be in the same room as theirs.

I don't know if I blame Kevvie. After all, he doesn't seem quite as desperate as Prime Minister Magoo was with his (then) counterpart, and quite frankly Barack Obama is way cooler than President Bush (# 1 or 2) - not to mention, a million times more legitimate. Who can forget that period in Australian politics when George Jnr took Mr Magoo to his private ranch and declared him his deputy sheriff in the Asia/Pacific region? And surely the (then) government's manouvering during that time - including our role in Dubya's "War on Terror" to thwart the Axis of Evil - will remain one of our less stellar achievements.

But, this desperation to be 'accepted' still plays on my mind. "Aren't we better than that?" I ask hopefully. On one hand I feel that Kevvie is doing us proud in his own smug 'I am the smartest kid in school' Mandarin-speaking way; earning brownie points through legitimate intelligence and good policy, rather than brown-nosing and joining ill-advised wars for the hell of it.

On the other hand, Kevvie and our media are coming across as WAY too happy with our G20 performance which is why I actually find myself cringing with shame - not at our efforts to join the big boys; but at our desperation to do so. Aren't we cooler than that. Whatever happened to Aussie ambivalence? To not giving a damn what others thought of us?

Aspirations are fine and a legitimate voice in international politics is worth chasing, but I think we are walking a fine line. Hanging with the cool kids is a worthy goal, but we need to be careful that - as we have done in the past - we don't have to sell our souls to get there. If we do, perhaps we should think about focussing on our own backyard. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with being a big fish in a small pond.

Demonising mothers

I only buy the newspapers on weekends and don’t often get to watch the television news, so I rely on internet sites to keep me up-to-date. I check the ABC / Australian / Courier Mail website a few times a day for breaking news. The Courier Mail website allows readers to comment on / respond to stories – some newsworthy, some not and some sensationalised (welcome to the media!).

I am gobsmacked, however, over three separate responses over the past two weeks.

The first incident, which was widely reported, involved a mother leaving her baby in a vehicle in the driveway of a business, while she stepped away briefly (into an office to pay a bill). I gather she left the keys in the ignition in order to leave the air-conditioning running in the car.

I agree that it was a silly thing to do, but few women could claim they have never left a sleeping child in a car in (what they assume to be) a safe place. Of course this whole thing came to the attention of the public when the car (with the child in) was stolen. Fortunately, once the unsuspecting thief realised he / she was kidnapping, they left the vehicle. The child was safe and all was well. You would think that everyone would be relieved that it ended well, acknowledge that the mother did something she regretted, but learned her lesson.

No – of course not. Via radio stations and websites the poor mother was crucified, written off as a bad mother who should be arrested. Akin, people said, to the parent who leaves a child outside of a casino all day while they gamble. I was shocked, and fortunately others agreed and added their voice to those who could not believe how ready people were to criticise.

The second incident – reported yesterday, but occurred the night before somewhere in the Northern Territory (note my aim here is not accuracy of the incident but rather the reactions, so fact-checking hasn’t been a priority). A mother, who had a commitment preventing her from picking her child up from the child care centre, requested a relative do so. The relative forgot (or something). The mother arrived home, realised what had happened so returned to the child care centre. No one was there and the place was locked. She somehow (heard or saw) her child still there. Alone. So she broke a window to retrieve her child.

Again, rather than commiserate with the poor mother who would have been worried about her child and wonder how centre staff could have overlooked the child, the web lynch-mob crucified the mother. Amongst the bloggers who were horrified at the centre’s error were a number who vilified the mother for using day care (at all) and for leaving the child in there all day. Some comments indicated that ‘it basically served the mother right for using child care, rather than caring for the child herself’. Of course it set off a debate (again) about working Vs stay-at-home mothers. A debate which will never be resolved.

Finally, today’s media about a pregnant woman, who a bottle-shop attendant suspected of stealing, was asked to show her stomach to prove that she was in fact pregnant, rather than hoarding bottles under the shirt! The woman did so, but later reported the incident.

The comments again have been flying. “How dare the shop assistant ask?” “How stupid for the woman to comply” etc etc.

But, what took the cake was the number of people who commented on the fact that a pregnant woman SHOULDN’T be in the bottle shop or drinking in the first place.

Whoa! Where on earth does that come from. Others equally horrified at such judgement suggested the woman was shopping for a lazy partner or husband; or perhaps had guests coming for dinner; or (as indicated in the article) buying a gift for someone.

I know nothing of any of these people. Perhaps they are / will be bad mothers. Perhaps the pregnant woman is a shop lifter.

My anger and disbelief isn’t because of the car thief, or the child care centre staff, or the shop attendant. It, and the shame I feel, comes from those so ready to judge. Whatever happened to compassion for our fellow man (or women, in this case)?