It occurred to me, driving back to my cat-sitting residence at 7.30am on Easter Saturday, that I could be 15-minutes pregnant. But then I wondered, if that’s how it works or if something else had to happen. I searched the recesses of my mind for what I knew about fertilization and conception and realized it was very minimal. “Sperm enters, fertilizes egg. Nine months later, baby.” That was about the extent of my knowledge.
The obstetrician had inserted the donor sperm into my uterus. “Did that bypass some steps?” I wondered. Perhaps it gave the sperm a break from some of the usual swimming they had to do. Who knows. I have always been happily ignorant about physiological stuff. One of my friends is always talking about her internal workings and knows where everything is. “Should I be able to do this?” I wonder? Frankly, I feel I have better things to do. Best not to obsess and let it work itself out.
So, back to 15-minute old pregnancy. I am, of course, being facetious as I am working on the assumption that I am indeed NOT pregnant so that I will not be disappointed in a few weeks when I discover that to be the case. Nonetheless…. It makes you wonder. I have cramps, but that is nothing new, as I have had cramps on both sides of my lower stomach (perhaps my abdomen – who knows how specific one needs to be?!) for weeks. I have assumed it is part of the usual “I have eaten too much and feel fat” guilt-ridden angst which is a constant state of being for me. On the other hand, it could be something to do with the fertility drugs I took a week or two ago. I am sure they should have some effect other than feeling more teary than usual.
The insemination took place 2 days ago now. I did have some strange sensations that day. Almost akin to period pain. Then again, I did eat chocolate Easter eggs, a tin of caramel stuff with meringues and yoghurt as well as rice cakes with roasted capsicum dip, so it could just be my stomach (and whatever falls below that) rebelling.
I thought I would suddenly want to be healthy. On the off-chance that there was someone inside. But alas, that hasn’t been the case. While I have forced some fruit down, I have pretty much binged my way through the Easter long weekend. I went for a brief walk yesterday but found my stomach felt particularly heavy. Again, not the makings-of-a-baby, but possibly the concoction of food that I called breakfast - again involving chocolate, rice cakes, sour cream and diet coke. ( Note to readers who may not know me so well. These combinations are not pregnancy-related cravings. I have always eaten like this. My favourite breakfast is left-over Chinese, washed down with chocolate and vanilla diet coke. I can basically eat anything at anytime.)
On the other hand, I did slow my walk down a little, I have cut back on my diet coke consumption and am not having any alcohol. So, I am taking SOME precautions. The latter has been surprisingly hard as while cat-sitting I have access to Pay Television and have been privy to ‘Gilmore Girls’ and ‘Sex and the City’ marathons. As I have sat there, constant tears streaming down my face, all I can think has been how the experience would be so much better with some champagne to console me. I think the marathons continue today. Fortunately in the absence of champagne, I have procured more caramel, meringues and tissues. Am all set!
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By now fertilisation would have happened if it's going to. Believe me, I know! 4 years of IVF has made me quite the expert. And I have just recently discovered that our identical twins results from the embryo dividing before it reached blastocyst stage. That, was fascinating for me - but then again I've always had a medical 'bent'. As I know you can't be hopeful because you don't want to be disappointed, I'm going to be hopeful for you. And then if it doesn't work, I'll come and cry with you too - I promise. Take care of yourself, my dear. You just don't know what is happening in that uterus of yours at the moment... :)
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