Listless

I am - if I do say so myself - a really good list-maker. They tell you to do that in the magazines; and in the questionnaires they ask, "Do you make lists?” If you don’t, they tell you to start, as it is a sign that you are ‘organised’.

I make lists. I am a maker of lists. Lots of them and for all sorts of things. What to pack when going away, a timetable for the next day, shopping, and my all-time-favourite. The ‘to-do’ list.

The process seems to fall over for me however, between the making of a list and the doing of the things actually ON the list.

Maybe I am mentally organised, but not physically.

I do the right things – the things they tell you to in magazines; I aim for small goals, achievable steps. As an example: Day 1: Find Yellow Pages; Day 2: Open Yellow Pages; Day 3: Look up Electricians; Day 4: Decide which to call…. You get the point.

Impossible to break these down any more. I think I employ this strategy so I can over-achieve. “Oh my god! I got the Yellow Pages out, looked up AND called the electrician on day 1. I am days ahead of schedule. And I’m fabulous!”

Sometimes I force myself NOT to make a list. That way when I don’t actually do something I wasn’t supposed to, I don’t feel too guilty about it.

I used this strategy on my last holidays. I had two weeks off. While I knew the sense of accomplishment I would feel from (tidying my desk and thereby ticking it off my list) I know that I would stress about HAVING to do it from the moment midnight ticked over to start my holidays. So, there was no list. I did some of the stuff I meant to, but not others. “Clean the Fridge” remains on a list from 6 months ago.

Each weekend the task looms before me. Just like exercise - also constantly on my lists – but remains a bit hit and miss.

Today I decided, would be the day I would clean the fridge. Of course the schedule I developed last night (ie. 7.30 – 8.00am walk; 8.30 – 9.30 finish typing work stuff; 9.30 – 10.00am clean fridge) didn't exactly come to fruition, though I have done the work stuff. And I have clipped some pictures from magazines and sent some emails (incidentally neither were on my list!!!)

Making lists can fool me into thinking that everything is under control. I don’t have to worry about stuff if I can list it down on paper. It means I am doing something. Even if I am not! Interestingly, most of my lists are made at night, in bed, when I can't sleep and things are playing on my mind.

Of course, sometimes the lists themselves can be a challenge. I am currently working on the big-mamma of lists.... my New Year's Resolutions (or goals) for 2009. But more on that at a later date.

Hmmm… it is now midday, so I will do the fridge before 5pm. That gives me some flexibility as I may need a little rejuvenating nanna nap, bit of TV first……

Postscript: I cleaned the fridge between 5.15 – 5.45pm. Having woken from longer-than-expected nanna nap, I was supposed to go for a walk for that half hour, but interestingly, even the fridge was more appealing. Of course once I finished I realized that I hadn’t factored the freezer in. Hmmm… will leave that for a later date. Don’t want to get TOO keen.